When your past becomes your present!

Hey Guys & Gals

It's another Wednesday. And all day I thought it was a Thursday! Oops.  It's been a wacky few weeks of foibles and bobbles for me.  Losing my coffee cup off the roof of my car, getting zapped washing a blender, spilling a smoothie from said blender, having a printer re-break in my hands at work....(because it was already glued together by someone I swear!),  and locking my keys & phone in my car while I was attempting to recharge it's battery! And all I could do was laugh at myself.  There's a book called the Alchemy of Love Relationships, with very interesting philosophy & spiritual practices. It even touches on Astrology of sorts.  Something I found really interesting that it mentioned was about the wheel of Karma.  Every 52 from your birthday you apparently hit a new planet's influence. 52 days before your birthday finds you in Saturn. Saturn rules your Karma. Good & Bad. What goes up must come down and Vice versa. Old wounds come up to heal.  Overdue parking ticket bills show up in the mail to clear your debt.  And then you find money in your pocket you forgot about until Laundry day.  It's wacky energy!  And quite frankly, I buy into it, because it explains the 2 weeks I have been having.

Since Karma and our past go hand in hand, my past has definitely shown up in a few other ways related to my acting.  #1. I am coming on to my 15 year anniversary here in LA come May. It has flown by me. When I was younger it seemed like forever before summer break from school. Now I find myself thinking and wishing the years would slow down!
#2.  My friend Mike Darling asked me if I had a favorite tree in LA.  And I love a lot of trees but one in particular has a lot of memories for me. Especially from when I first arrived in LA just before I turned 21.  A few relationships and hair styles ago.  When the cast of "Friends" were at the height of fashion influence.  I found a tree with my guy then, who urged me to move out here to be with him.  And we had lots of happy times up at that tree and sad ones too.  Re-exploring that with Mikey was a real treat. Looking back at how far I have come in so many ways and realizing how I was still that same girl with unmet dreams in other ways. It was a trip to say the least. The video was shot for Unicef with a Zooppa contest platform.  Take a look!  I hope it inspires you to visit your tree.  And I suggest when you do.....if you can, CLIMB IT!  It's quite a rush!  You literally feel like a kid again.  And if you don't have a tree, you can borrow mine, it's at the top of Fryman Canyon.

https://zooppa.com/en-us/ads/a-special-tree/videos/nicoles-tree

#3.  I was recently cast in an in house commercial, the one I told you guys I didn't even audition for last week. Well, I shot it today.  I was playing a young professional in 2001.  And I was seeing the footage of 911 as my character and as myself again.  It was a little surreal.  I don't make a habit of watching stuff like that if I can help it.  And I purposely avoid the news in my real life because most of the time my heart can't take it.  But I do remember watching that in my early 20s, new to LA, and seeing the second tower get hit live. I could never forget that day, just like the generation before me would never forget where they were when Kennedy or Martin Luther King were shot.  And because of how much time had past it felt like I was almost watching it for the first time. It hit me just as hard. My first take was "gold" said the director....because it was real!  So real, my next take was "to pull it back", and the take after that "pull it back even more."  A lot of time in acting we have to push emotions out of us, and need a few takes to get there, warm up into it.  Today was the opposite, it was already real for me, I just had to let it come to the surface in that moment. I had the footage right in front of me. I had dialogue in my head with my friend back home and my parents on the phone.  One of who I can't really talk to anymore. Because he is gone now too, with my past.  But as actors the past is real for us now. We feel it now!  It's a blessing and a curse.  Think about how we may apply that to our life EVERYDAY with our thoughts, obsessions even.  If they aren't empowering thoughts, what kind of an emotional state are we keeping ourselves in?

Which brings me back to the tree!  It's spring, AND EARTH DAY, its nice out, go outside. Sit under a tree, climb a tree, cartwheel barefoot in grass, pick wildflowers on a hike, go to a park and jump on a swing even if you think your ass is too big for the kiddy seat. Bring up that joy & childhood wonder again.  Bring up your best memories and let go of the worst.  Play the fun board games you loved, or the movies or gameshows you'd watch when you played hooky from school.  Do something nostalgic for your soul...PLEASE!  Your inner child wants to come out and play, especially in the spring.  Use your past to feel good now, if your present isn't doing it for you.  You have enough years and life experience to find a nugget of "gold" somewhere.  Be an actor.  Act your way into the best day EVER!  Let's give ourselves permission to Bloom shall we?!

And speaking of Blooming, I have a self produced short film called BOBBY & JUNE: IMPULSE in the 15 Minutes of Fame Film Festival this Saturday in Orlando Florida.  Our first Festival. And My first Festival as a producer/actress combo.  A Big shout out to Annie Wood the brilliant & witty writer of our IMPULSE scene. To Mike Darling again!  With his self taught movie making magic skills and helping me capture of my best character performances for comedy in my repertoire, and the hilarious without even trying, Cary Mosier playing my pretend boyfriend Bobby!

Trees, Blooms & Happy EARTH DAY!

xo

Nicole