It's been a hot minute. To be honest I haven't been focused much on my acting. So I haven't had much to say. I've been getting my hands dirty in others things, mainly whatever gigs will make me extra money.
Those include - Casting, Dog walking, (I'm coming out here) Developing other actors.....Needless to say, I have been in service mode majorly.
And what I realize now typing this, is I HAVE been working on my acting everyday! Part of an actors job is knowing the other side of the camera, staying fit and putting yourself in someone else's shoes by investigating about them. Each one of those "jobs" above contribute to my "experiences" I can bring to my next acting job.
Uninspiring auditions, racing all over town on my lunch breaks and the waiting game for opportunities gets old after a while. So I am the type of person who likes to take things on that are new and gives me purpose in the meantime. With that said, I have learned a lot from looking at & supporting other people, finding their niches, going through their headshots and offering advice from my casting brain. And it has been totally fulfilling.
I love transformation! In fact, I may be addicted to it. And if I am not working on changing something about myself for a character or challenging myself to grow spiritually or emotionally in some way then I am interested in someone else's journey. And I am not afraid to throw in my 2 cents. In most cases I am thanked for it. In others, like with my boyfriend it might be unsolicited. haha And not always appreciated. errrrr
If I were to psycho analyze myself, which I do & will, I's say that is a big reason why I am so attracted to the jobs I have had. Developing Talent utilizes my acting experience, casting experience, production experience, self help book knowledge, cheerleading skills, Analytical brain and part of my "Womanness" really. I am sure most of the joy of motherhood is seeing your babies grow and learn and become stronger, wiser, versions of themselves and that is what I have been getting to do with actors. I have in the past few months gotten more joy from their successes than trying to chase my own. But what I am finding, is the service I am providing, is my success. I don't have to chase it, I don't have to struggle for it. It comes easy to me. I basically get paid 1 cent an hour, at this point, but it doesn't feel like work. Actually every month gets a little more lucrative than the last, so there is proof whatever I am contributing to them is working for them. They are getting more auditions and bookings. Hurray. I am very proud of my "kids".
Like anything in life when in service you also have an opportunity to learn something about yourself. All the advice I can give to others, I have needed to take myself for YEARS. Short cuts don't pay off in this business. I'm proof. Your proof, if you aren't a series regular yet. And you're friends are proof if they have the same complaints as you! Shooting headshots for free with friends or even spending $900 to not look like you, Procrastinating on learning your audition material or having a bad attitude about it only being 1 line, Not exercising your skills or life experiences, Not getting professional taped Auditions done for Ecocasts, Not adding new footage to your acting pages, that just collects dust on your computer! The list goes on - I'm the worst. haha But awareness is everything. An addict can only even consider changing if they know they have a problem.
There are a million and one things I can let distract me or keep me from doing the work. Call it self sabotage, call it procrastination, call it money worries, call it lack of self worth, or just plan lack of focus or guidance. Call it NETFLIX, but even that I can justify as research. I mean some days are so bad I WILL CLEAN to avoid getting my shit together!
Possible Solutions?
1. I am a fan of check boxes and homework. Give yourself 1-3 things a day to up-level yourself &/or career
2. Deadlines (with room for a little flexibility, so you don't hate yourself)
3. Since it's a lot easier to be accountable to someone else's deadline like at school or Job/jobs, get a partner and hold each other accountable. Or schedule goals with your reps!
4. Put a little money aside just for you. (this is a very recent commitment for myself) Pay yourself like you are your own agent or manager, start adding 10-15% from each check to your savings. It might only be $5-$25 at times and seem pointless but it adds up and energetically watch it attract more. So if you need new headshots, or an improv class, then you don't have an excuse that you can't afford it. If you don't invest in you why should a major producer who has millions on the line?
5. ENERGY ENERGY ENERGY THOUGHTS THOUGHTS THOUGHTS - I am not talking be hyper, workout like crazy, go running.... unless that puts you in a positive place mentally, then yes I am saying that. Really its about paying attention to where you are giving your energy - that's where the universe moves things for you whether in your favor or not. Your focus is EVERYTHING to do with it. Pay attention to your thoughts. Are you saying your not pretty enough, too fat, too old, can't afford it??!! Well the more you speak it, the more you believe it, and the more you are experiencing it. It's a self defeating prophecy. STOP THAT SHIT NOW! You have proof already THAT BEHAVIOR doesn't work to change anything for the better, because you are still right where you have always been. As a matter of fact, Your agents and managers can be submitting you and pitching you like crazy, you can be blaming them for nothing happening, but YOU are telling the universe you aren't worthy or ready for the job with those kinds of thoughts! So that door isn't going to open even if you have CAA making calls for you. Granted if you land CAA you will probably feel pretty good about yourself. haha. ENERGY, THOUGHTS, FOCUS, & WORTH. Those are all inside jobs. Your mother held your hands while you learned to walk but at some point she had to let you go, and the "baby you" needed to trust you could keep going without her.
Step, Walk, Run and Frolic into your dreams and purpose friends -
PS>>>>>check out my instagram/twitter Transformation for my first really inspiring AUDITION in a while, This one has me all in & I will be updating it periodically through to my callback and fingers crossed after that.....
https://www.instagram.com/nicole_dionne/
https://twitter.com/NicoleDionneAct
Allow your personal transformations,
xo - Nicole
